i'm moving to texas!

okay, not really...but some days i have the incredible urge to pack up everything and disappear in the middle of the night. i wonder if anyone here would miss me...

and then i would get to play with the babies in texas! sounds like a good idea to me. you have a spare couch i could crash on, right bethanne?

road trips and such

well, i managed to survive another week. it has been pretty crazy, but i got through everything and im happy to say im still alive. i finished up with the permanent sub job and took the next day off to relax (thursday), and then brad, hayley (a family friend from his hometown), and i made our way across the boring plains of nevada on a 9 hour drive to nevada city, california for the weekend. we went because brad's little sister, kristin, graduated from the eighth grade, and his little brother, mike, graduated from high school. it was a very short trip, but it was definitely worth the travel time. not to mention the fact that alli was there along with one of our best friends, laurel (who is actually the sister of our good friend, scott), so it became a weekend of girl talk, shopping, and taking silly pictures. the only downfall (besides the fact that we were barely there for 48 hours) was that the majority of the people there got really sick, so not everyone had the greatest of time. brad had some kind of horrible sinus infection, which about 5 others got by sunday, and kristin was up with some kind of stomach bug (which i consequently got yesterday). thank goodness for jello and pepto bismol though...it was the only stuff that kept me alive yesterday! it was really good to see everyone, too. brad's entire family was there except for ryan (my mortal board game nemesis and shannon's husband) and it felt a little off without the bickering and trash talking that ensues when we are under the same roof, but it was fun otherwise. he was definitely missed, and everyone agreed. all of the babies were ADORABLE, and i managed to even get kalijane to play with me some! it was a definite improvement from previous trips.


maci really liked these mints...either that or she was desperate for something fun to do during the VERY long graduation...
the whole family minus ryan (ted, laurel, and i all took pictures)
the beginning of brad's photoshoot with us...he kept counting to 3 and taking picture after picture. the first one with actually very cute and im impressed about how well it came out...
then we started to get creative (all making the same face was totally an accident!)
i had to post this one because i literally collapsed to the ground when i saw alli's face...this will most definitely be printed out and framed as soon as possible.



anyway, im glad to be done with the driving, and i am VERY glad i wasnt hit with that bug until after we got home (even though i rather would have just not been hit with it at all), and im still trying to take it easy from my horrible day yesterday. if im feeling up to it im going to lay out in a bit and then brad and i are going to the mall after his class...yay for birthday shopping! and just in case you are wondering, you have a little less than 1 day and 13 hours of shopping time left until my 22nd birthday! :)

i dont have a catchy title for this post.

so it's been a pretty good week. i managed to survive the past 7 days subbing, and im excited to say that i only have 3 more to go!! halle-freakin-lujah. the kids actually have been pretty good, but i really feel like 10 days isnt enough to change their lives (or their bad habits). i can only hope that our conversations about the benefits of living in America and why drinks labeled "not recommended for children" are not a good idea for them to have right now will make some kind of impact in their lives. basically they have played the entire time, though. everything from dance practices to trips to the bowling alley to assemblies and field day on wednesday, they havent learned much. but by golly, they have had fun! hopefully...

this weekend i had super crazy dreams. i dreamed that i had to get braces again, that i found the most amazing singles apartment EVER (and they gave me a discount on rent!), and that i had to substitute for a class of 60 students all having behavioral disorders all by myself. wowy zowy....i was freaking out a bit. moral of the story, however, is that i have dreams that strongly reflect my deep-down wishes and fears. i think it's interesting to reflect on and realize those things that affect me so much. and in case you think me having to get braces again is weird, i think it came from my constant struggles with my TMJ...I am regularly in so much pain from my jaw that i have to have some kind of medicine on hand because just saying a word wrong or yawning can make my jaw KILL all of the sudden. i cant even open my mouth more than two finger widths, which makes life difficult when i want to eat pizza, or even an ice cream sandwich. i'm excited for the day when i have dental insurance and i can go see a specialist about it.

one more story! i got busted today in my relationships class at church. brad and i are the only un-engaged couple in their, and we really go because i force him to. we've had our share of awkward experiences, like the time our teacher asked if we had set a date yet, but today i was caught by one of our good friends danny (he and jamie are getting married in august and they are quite possibly the cutest couple ive ever seen). in the middle of class, i noticed that the girl sitting two chairs down from me had on quite the engagement ring. it was actually very similar to the one that i want for myself, but still a little too big for my taste (in case youre curious, i want either a princess or radiant cut diamond in the middle with baguettes on each side, but i want it low-set so it wont poke out and scratch things easily--see picture below), but it was beautiful. well, every time she made a comment she would move her hands around a lot, and i was trying to get a good look at it. before i even realized what was happening, i noticed danny was laughing in my peripheral vision. he totally caught me checking out her ring, and he teased me about it afterwards. i should try to be sneakier next time....
(this is an example of the sort of ring i want. BEAUTIFUL!) anyway....that's all. oh wait, one more thing--11 days and counting until my 22nd birthday! woot woot! i accept cash, checks, and money orders, as well as gifts. lots and lots of gifts. yay for birthdays!

hello, my name is ms. lenhard. i am your substitute, and i am a nazi.

i remember the good old days when i was in school and my teacher was going to be gone. total freedom! a day wasted! i could do whatever i wanted, and no substitute could stop me! well, im here to tell you that I am now the substitute that i prayed didnt exist.

im not sure if it was the fact that i was subbing for two days at a middle school in general, or that the majority of the boys were significantly bigger than me, or that i was afraid i might show up wearing the same shirt as some girl at the school that terrified me last week. it may have been the age, or the fact that the teacher next door in a school with only dividers for walls kept yelling and screaming at the kids could hear if we got too loud (which would inevitably make him come and yell at me). no, im really not sure. all i know is that i almost started to cry as i made my way through the long hallways that brought back quite a number of unpleasant middle school memories.

but somehow, i survived. of course, i was mean. very mean. one of the kids sincerely asked if i have ever been in the military before. i didnt take ANYTHING from them. i was kicking kids out of the classroom left and right! and all the while, i was thinking, 'man....i would HATE myself right now if i was one of the students.' it is really hard to draw the line between friend and teacher, and that is something that i never learned how to do with 14 year olds during my studies. i mean, i can bond with 9 year olds without a problem. but you get past the 5th grade and i just dont know what to do with them. i never thought it would happen, but i finally realized how it must feel to have a teenage child who assumes you dont understand when really you were only there a few years ago. and yes, those gross slang terms and sneaky ways still exist. i know all the tricks.

so now, a week later and well versed as a sub, i am the permanent sub for the class in which i student taught (the fifth graders). if you didnt hear any of the stories, this was a class that taught me more than any other class has. it made me hate teaching some days, but ultimately proved that if i could handle this class, i could handle any. and man, i am a meany. i have set up all sorts of ways to try to reward the kids, but they are so out of control that they cannot have even 10 seconds of free time...it really is sad.

so i had quite the talk with them. i let them know today that for the next 10 days of school (their last 10 days, when all they do is play) will not be pleasant if they so much as look like they are off task. i made sure they understood that as far as i was concerned, i am now the teacher and i can ban them from whatever fun activity i want. and boy, they were SO well behaved for me! if there is anything that i was taught at byu, it is that you have to stick to your guns and be "as mean as you possibly can in the beginning. let nothing go." then, after they are used to following rules, ease up. unfortunately for these kids, we only have 10 more days together. i like to think of this as the testing grounds for next year. you know, practice to see if i can stick to my guns like i say i will. i want them to have fun, but these kids just HAVE to learn respect and self control before they can be allowed to do anything else. they have to learn it somewhere, and it obviously hasnt happened yet. let's keep our fingers crossed that i do some good while cracking the proverbial whip over the next 2 1/2 weeks.

power to the big sis!

just thought i would publicly thank bethanne for helping talk me through the world of htmls and other computer stuff that i dont completely understand. now my blog isnt so stinking skinny and helter-skelter (yes, i did just say that)! and with that little tidbit, it is time for bed. thanks, sister! i love you!